never enough.

Sooo... Ladies and Gentlemen... *drumroll*

I have reached my goal weight of 50 kg. (Yesterday it was less, tomorrow it might be over that, but yeah)

Thy big question then - Did it make me happy?
Of course it didn't. I still feel big & wide in all senses possible.

Will I ever be 100% happy with my body? Eesh. Probably not. But fuck it. At least I accomplished my New Years resolution (and just in the knack of time, so it seems).

Now Christmas is around the corner and I'll probably get fat all over again. But hey - circle of life.

Merry fucking Christmas to you!

play it safe

Things I can't live without atm.

• Läkerol: 2-4 kcal/piece, and there's so many different flavors to try! My favorite so far is Salmiak, but I haven't tried much different ones - yet.
• Naturdiet meal bar: 200-220 kcal/bar. Since I have class from 1-4 pm, I have bring lunch to school. Except that I'm lazy and I don't wanna buy stuff from the cafeteria every day, there's these meal bars that are surprisingly really good and quite filling. Dark Chocolate is the best one I've tried yet.
• Sugarfree Powerking: 10 kcal/can. I wonder what I would do without caffeine...
• PoWorkout: An app I bought a while ago, which contains different, short workout sessions you can basically do anywhere. I was surprised to say I was sore the first few days of training, which proves that it works, and each workout only takes a couple of minutes :)

(Note: I don't have the time or energy to go to the gym. Or willing to spend money on a gym card. Plus, every time I've been to a gym I feel like there's too much people, all looking at you, judging you. I kind of feel like a hamster in a huge cage where everyone runs on those big wheels, whilst trying to sneak a peak at the others to see how they are doing. No. *shudders*)

Oh well, now the sun is out and I'm going to the library to study. Ttyl bitches.

equations

Cheeseburger: 310 kcal

Big Mac: 490 kcal

QP Cheese: 549 kcal

Mc Chicken: 431 kcal

Large Fries: 450 kcal

Sundae: 284 kcal

Thank you Google. Now I'll probably never go to Mc Donald's again.

Oh well. I'm bored.

all i ever wanted

Went into the local food store.


Bought what my dad asked me to (eggs, milk etc). Stood by the candy department, thinking I should buy me some chocolate or a similar treat for tonight.
Stood there, minutes ticking away, couldn't decide. Finally picked up a tiny chocolate bar, the size of my palm. Read the label: 120 kcal.


"Fine, I can live with that."
Walked up to the cashier, panicked. 120 kcal for what? 1 minute of chocolate bliss?
Put the chocolate bar back & paid for the rest before I could change my mind &
grab it again.


Anyone been in the same situation?

it's only about discipline

pictures: http://kayascodelario.net/photos/thumbnails.php?album=1

A little lunch thinspo. Kaya Scodelario, also known as "Effy" from Skins.

Yesterday's food intake:

• Breakfast: Omelette made with 2 eggs, tomato, ham, etc. No cheese.
• Lunch: 1 orange
• Dinner: 1 bowl of wok (only vegetables)

Today's food intake:

• Breakfast: Basic salad with corn & mackarel (yes, that's a fish)
• Lunch: Fruit salad (1 orange, ½ apple, 1 banana)
• Dinner: ?

So, food has been going ok these past 2 days. If only all days were as good as these.

Anyway, I guess I should study... Or do something. But I'm crap tired after not sleeping well last night. (moar coffee?)

So I might just watch (or finish reading) Game of Thrones, and then I'm off to watch the new Tintin movie tonight (: 

this thing about sizes

Funny thing happened today...
I went out shopping because I needed a little pick-me-up, and of course went home with like, 5 shopping bags. Oops. However I bought the most gorgeous shoes... 

Anyway, I showed my mom the new jeans I bought, and she looked at the tag and said:

"Size 27?!" (We have weird jeans sizes here?)
And I was about to open my mouth and say something like "yeah I know, I've feel like I've put on some weight, a size 26 or 25 would be much better", but she interrupts me and continues:

"I bought the same size for you when you were 14!"
So, appearenly I have the waistline of a 14-year old.
Best news all week.

breathe

Mood: Tired.
Activity: Listening to music & drinking herbal tea.
Today's calorie intake: 900-1000 kcal. Way too much. I could, I will, do better.

sugar, fuck off

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4c/Lakerol1.jpg 

Don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I believe I have a slight case of sugar addiction.

I'm so weak for sugary things, like candy (especially chocolate) and baked goods that are terrible in kcal and carbs.

My solution (and a great tip): Läkerol. They're delicious, sweet and best of all: Sugarfree & only 2 kcal/piece! 

So screw that damn Snickers or Twix and buy a packet of Läkerol instead. Believe me, you'll be doing yourself a favour.

200 km/h in the wrong direction

pro ana party slama 

(Do. Not. Get it? 

Seriously, who sells these t-shirts? I just had to buy it. Had to.)

Oh, and I'm alive. Barely.
But I'm alive.

architects

Pic: we heart it

So, this whole week has been pretty slow, and bad. I haven't been following my diet. I've had lots of candy. And I've just been generally lazy overall.

Last night basically everyone I knew was out having fun, while I was home alone with stomach pains and a bowl of ice-cream.

Then I woke up this morning and thought 'Okay, I have two options':

1. Continue the way I've been living, and end up fat and alone with my 27 cats. (Okay, maybe not that drastic, but you get the picture) OR;
2. Kick myself in the butt and do something to change my life

Said and done, I went and bought proper - and expensive - running shoes, downloaded 2 new apps; One for keeping track on my running, and one for counting calories.

Going to try to live on a maximum intake of 1,200 calories per day and also doing some running every morning before school. (Counting calories for my dinners will be though since generally I don't make them, but I'll try my best).

Anyway, now I feel so much better about myself already. Gonna make my evening tea and then head straight to bed. Tomorrow is a new day, a new start. 

Wish me luck, bitches.

... i stop being sick and be awesome instead

Original picture: http://kitchensimplicity.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/Cranberry-Juice-91.jpg

I did call in sick yesterday. And today. 

It helped my fever & cold to sleep during the night, however when I woke up this morning I discovered that it hurt when I went to the bathroom to pee. Oh yay. This again?

So I called work, when I was at school, and talked to a grumpy lady who pointed out that "I shouldn't be there if I was sick" - Well, I'm sorry, but I can't miss any of my classes or I'll fall behind even more. *mumble mumble well suck it bitch*

Then I swung by the supermarket and bought cranberry juice. 1 liter. Drank it all when I came home.

Hard to say if it really works against sickness/urinal infections & such, but it worked last time I tried (like 10 months ago), sooo... 

Pray that all those empty calories weren't all in vain and that I get better soon, mkay?

l.i.f.e.g.o.e.s.o.n.

Well, that week went by fast.
I've been terrible at updating, so here's some pics to show you what I've been up to...

• My sister turned 19, so we went and had Greek food, and I had chocolate truffel for dessert. It was delicious - and not too much on the plate so it was perfect. Even though I did feel a bit bad about it.
• Next is my new favourite (and easy) lunch: Omelette made in the microwave.
  (Just add 2 eggs, 2 tablespoons of milk, some pepper, mix, microwave for 1 min, mix again, add another 1 min in the microwave. Done! Easy and fast.)
• Finally, this is me today. Tired, shabby and still in bed. Planning on lying there all day, not in the mood for my daily exercise to be honest. I feel really beaten up for some reason.

I do kind of feel bad for not following my diet plan and not working out, but in all honesty I don't care right now. I work 6 nights/week where I walk for 3½ hours and run up & down approx. 45 flights of stairs. I think I've got at least some of my needed exericse sorted.

Now, back to my book and then I need to plan dinner for tonight. (The big question in my life - What can I/can't I eat?)