A

She's back.

.

drowning in my sleep

I don't want to look like this anymore.

I don't want to feel like this anymore.

by the way, your hands were shaking

Okay, this is the last food-related update you'll see here, promise!

This is what I had to eat today. I felt quite proud so I felt like I could share it. *ahem*
Breakfast: ½ portion of oates, 50 g berries and 2 tbsp of psylliumseeds - 92 kcal
Lunch: 1 apple, 2 low-calorie-high-fibre flat breads - 98 kcal

Dinner: 1 soysausage, 4 brusselsprouts, 50 g broccoli, 100 g spinach & 50 g lentils - 201 kcal 

Miscelleneous: Tea, Coke Zero, water, Läkerol, sugar-free chewing gum

Well if I can keep this up and finish all my on-going exams, I'll be a happy little girl.

waking slowly on drugs and sorrow

Mmm bad webcam pic of collarbones. Yeah.

Well I'm tired.
Of basically everything.
I'm literally back exactly where I was one year ago; In debt, not much wiser, depressed and completely alone. Again.

Have an entire week of exams and then I'm done. Of school. Of everything that is 'normal' in my life. Then I don't really know; I have nothing to hold me back or keep me going. Things might turn pretty interesting by then, but if you wanna stick around to see the show you'll have to follow my new blog which will be up and running by the end of the month. I shall clear this one and use for design purposes only (as intended, gosh).

Stay tuned or, hey, don't.

291211

When you're thin like air,
Then you're almost perfect.

You calm me when all the lights go out
Just one second, then I'm almost perfect
Come and calm me, surround myself with your breath

you and me will never die

fat

Jag hatar sångerna jag skrivit 

Jag hatar allt jag nånsin sagt 

Och jag hatar den jag blivit 

när jag trott att jag haft makt 

Jag hatar klyschorna jag spridit 

på sång och dans och sprit 

Man kanske borde ta sitt liv nu 

men jag trivs ju så bra i min svit 

Älskling, vi ska alla en gång dö 

Jag har alltid gillat svaghet 

Som sex & sprit & knark 

Det finns alltid som en utväg 

Och jag har aldrig varit stark 

I min skalle brann en motsats 

En skogsbrand i en park 

Där hundratusen apor 

Fyller tonårsblanka ark 

Med orden: Vi skall alla en gång dö 

Och jag ska skydda dom jag älskar 

Med hjärta, kropp och själ 

Jag ska skydda dom mot livet 

Som är hårt & fult & skört 

Jag ska ge dom allt som blir kvar 

När jag är färdig med det här 

Jag ska ge dom nått som hjälper 

Mot en ond och giftig värld 

Älskling vi ska alla en gång dö

Det jag vill ha kan inte köpas 

Inte stjälas, få till låns 

Det jag vill ha kan inte ägas 

Det är så mycket större än så 

Jag kastar pappersplan från höghus 

Mot en gnista gömd i snön 

Jag måste tro att det kan hända 

Jag måste drömma min egen dröm 

För du och jag ska aldrig dö 

Nej du och jag ska aldrig dö

and you're my obsession

never enough.

Sooo... Ladies and Gentlemen... *drumroll*

I have reached my goal weight of 50 kg. (Yesterday it was less, tomorrow it might be over that, but yeah)

Thy big question then - Did it make me happy?
Of course it didn't. I still feel big & wide in all senses possible.

Will I ever be 100% happy with my body? Eesh. Probably not. But fuck it. At least I accomplished my New Years resolution (and just in the knack of time, so it seems).

Now Christmas is around the corner and I'll probably get fat all over again. But hey - circle of life.

Merry fucking Christmas to you!

tangled

Since a certain someone *cough cough Michael* complained that I never show stuff that I've designed, here you go. A typography illustration, of sorts. Or something.